“I USED TO HATE THE FOOL IN THE MORNING. NOW I TOLERATE HIM ALL DAY LONG.” Patterson Hood.
I HAVE BEEN HOOKED ON EVERYTHING BUT PHONICS ……… YOU NAME IT, I’VE DONE IT. IF ISSUES WERE TISSUES I’D USE THE WHOLE GODDAMN BOX.
I’m lucky to be alive……..Now my mantra for each day is simple. Two words. DON’T DRINK.
I tried to emulate Keith Richards for at least 30 years and I still wonder what kind of world we will leave for him after we are all gone…….. But, tomorrow will be fifteen months since the last time I had a drink. I still think about it every day, but with time comes clarity. And I’m very clear that it is what is best.
I am tired of the cycle. Kind of like how water circles when you flush the toilet, the circles get tighter and tighter until it finally disappears down the drain. My life became unmanageable. This has been a reoccurring theme for me. I can directly attribute every major problem I’ve ever had in life to two things. DRUGS AND ALCOHOL.
I am an addict. And a highly functioning addict at that. I can not drink or recreationally do drugs like “normal” people can. I must always take it to the extreme. It took me a long time to realize this, but finally after beating my head against a f***ing wall for many years I think I finally figured it out. I know this is a slippery slope and I’m only one drink away from a full blown relapse. That’s some scary s**t, but a healthy fear is what keeps me in check…….. So I try to check myself before I wreck myself. Every minute of every day. Although I still step chaotically it hurts no-one but me now, and I have learned to live with that.
Beat yourself with a feather, not a bat. Forgive yourself, and most of all learn to love yourself again……
” Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son.” Dean Wormer from the movie Animal House.